March 2012
39 posts
So tonight...
…was that night when I was like “Hey Daniel, what is actually going on here?”
And he was like “I just thought we had innocent crushes. I didn’t realize how serious you were about everything. I should not have let the line between friends and more than friends get blurred.”
This is the part where my opinion of Daniel Bryant as a human being, friend, and...
“HERE IS A POEM CALLED I LOVE YOU CALLED I LOVE YOU CALLED I LOVE YOU ETC.
LOOK AT A MAP OF THE EARTH AND TRY TO FIND ME I AM ALL OVER THAT SHIT WHERE ARE YOU? ALL OVER THAT SHIT TOO? AWESOME WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? MINE IS BLUE WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCEAN-BOUND MAMMAL? MINE IS THE BELUGA WHALE HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE STARS SO BLURRY THAT YOU TRULY BELIEVED HEAVEN HAS SPILT INTO...
February 2012
38 posts
I decided before noon today that I was going to skip my last class of the day. I’m not really bothered by this at all, but I know I should be.
I’m hanging out with Nicole instead. And then Ryan. And then probably my neighbor. And the sun is out, fuckkk. Good things.
3 tags
i love my friends
Ben: aw come on! one class for one day out of the week isn't so bad! plus you get to see me enrich young minds and hang out with me!
Me: I haz classes on Wednesday
Ben: QUITTER! I mean, oh thats too bad
Me: I DIDNT EVEN START JERK HOW COULD I POSSIBLY BE A QUITTER
Ben: LOOK IN YOUR HEART AND YOU WILL FIND THE ANSWER!!
Me: OMG I DONT HAVE ONE
Ben: WE HAVE TO FIND IT!
I already put an ad in the paper "soul crushing she-demon missing heart, cash reward, but by cash I mean DEATH"
Me: Hahaahaha
Ben: my friend mikey just sent me this totally random message "There goes Kid Mikey with his signature wrestling move, the "Herpes Suplex 2"!!!
Me: Hahaha brilliant
Ben: I imagine the herpes suplex 2 is just like herpes, it goes away for a while, but eventually the suplex flares up again
http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rq9jodUENU
Bruce Bogtrotter never knew what hit him!
he could eat all that cake, but not ALL THAT DICK
Me: I hope that's a lyric
Ben: omg it is now! my fifth hit single "Herpes Suplex 2"
don't ask me what the other four are, I am too lazy to milk this joke
Me: I wasn't going to butTELL ME WHAT R THE OTHER 4
Ben: "Flex Bomb", "Let's Steal a Baby", "Gay Nightlife", "I Ate Your Girlfriend"
I am a four time one hit wonder, which is redundant
Me: I love those songs omgg
they're all my fav
Ben: what was your favorite verse?
Ben: I particularly like "lets steal a baby, and then maybe, you'll fuuuuuuck meeeee!"
Me: "he can eat all that cake but cant eat ALL THAT DICK"
4 tags
I had a really nice talk with my brother Chris today. I really love him. He’s a good person. We are very different people and sometimes I have a hard time with that, but I’m so glad to have him in my life.
i can has friends?
I am going to be social and hang out with my downstairs neighbor and I am awkward and ahhh Crystle help you’re the only person who understands why I struggle so much with the ridiculousness of having to be around other people when it’s not really a big deal blarrghh
4 tags
i wonder if i will ever grow out of this
All of My Teeth
“I spent an hour at work google image searching pictures of salukis looking majestic and no one noticed. I wish someone would have noticed because I wanted to show them the dogs. To point out to them look these are dogs! Can you believe these are dogs and not horses or reindeer or mountain goats or some other kind of thing? The feeling I have about pictures of salukis looking...
Was so tired last night I forgot to set my alarm (never, EVER happens).
Woke up late, and jumped out of bed freaking out. Three minutes later I get a text from Daniel that says, “Wake up you slept through class”
..weeird.
In addition, while walking home from my second class I found myself thinking “112”, and being confused, only to realize that I had been keeping...
Last night I had horrible nightmares about you coming to visit me and treating me really bad the entire time. You kept showing up at my house with different women. This is what happens when we talk every single day, all day, and then I don’t hear from you all night.
My brain jumps into hyper-insane mode and imagines all of the things I don’t want you to be doing. You still...
Wiley is creepily interested in getting into my closet. It’s really big and he tends to hide in there so I keep the door closed, but it’s starting to freak me out. He’s never been so persistent. He just claws at it and whines and cries and hisses. The lightbulb went out and I have 15ft ceilings so I can’t change it at night with no other light to see what I’m doing...
4 tags
The sun is out and that is a good thing. Today will be photographs, friends, fresh air, sunlight, and positive energy.
I have made a big step by telling some of my closer friends that I am depressed to the point where I am starting to worry about myself. I am getting stuck in my thinking again, feeling suicidal, having that heavy sense of hopelessness and wanting to give up. I have told people...
4 tags
stay up
My mom seems to be on the decline again. Some “old friend” of hers just moved back to Crystal Lake and they were out at the bar last night. The last place my mother needs to be. She’s always going to be a fuck up, but she has been getting better lately. In ways. No hard drugs. Less pot. Less drinking and only drinking beer instead of hard stuff. I know that’s not much...
Happy Birthday Bill. Today you would be 20. All the loving and missing that I have,
Jessica
2 tags
I quit the job today. I have enough money to last one more month without any income.
Holyfuckingshitthisisserious.
Doin’ good things for myself that are terrifying, y0.
“Oh, I really like you so much and wow my feelings were so genuine. SO GENUINE THAT I AM GOING TO STOP HAVING THEM FOR YOU”
-Every emotionally retarded boy that I’ve ever met. AKA every fucking boy that’s ever come into my life
lol
3 tags
Every day this week I have woken up at either 4 or 6am, and have either started my morning with a seven hour shift at work, or a row of classes at school. I just woke up from a nap and feel so weak and sick and tired and am kicking myself really hard for allowing myself to fall asleep. My body needs it so badly, but I literally have enough homework to last me…realistically…at least ten...
I wanna kiss you where your head opens up, i
i, i
I wanna kiss you where your legs spread apart, i
i, i
i wanna kiss you until you feel alive, i
i, i
oh my, my, my, my, your mind, your mind, your mind
6 tags
unf.
I feel like I’ve reached a really horrible point in time if I can’t decide whether I’d rather eat dinner, have sex, or pass the fuck out.
I think verbalizing this is possibly making it even sadder.