January 2012
40 posts
3 tags
New Years Eve
I, like the lame ass motherfucker I am, have turned down all received offers to go out tonight.
Two wild parties, one calm party, dinner, movies and a burlesque show. I should want to go out I guess. A very small part of me does. A bigger part of me is really content with eating ice cream and watching movies alone.
December 2011
63 posts
2 tags
I didn’t think it was possible to hate a job more than I hated my last job. But hey! It totally is! Eight hour shift today and I wish more than anything in the world that I could afford to stay home and fuck that job. Too bad for me.
http://bookshelfporn.com/ →
Oh my dear word. There is a tumblr called bookshelfporn. /moan /moan /moan /moan /moan /moan
1 tag
And so the whiskey foxhole comes to you.
looking through photographs the pick apart pieces of a lost in thought another thing i was afraid of forgetting
and now, i remember you still that night in the kitchen black eyed and smiling
what kind of fool misses you- a fucking rascal
reckless, unbroken and wanting me
Dear Jessica,
It’s a good thing that this isn’t working out. It’s a good thing you haven’t left the house. You think you want this but stay home, ‘cause the whiskey foxhole combo ain’t a good one and you know it. Temptation is a bitch. Ell oh ell.
rmft
Staying up until 4 o’clock in the morning to fall asleep to you interrupting a bedtime story to giggle and talk about how bad you are at telling it was not the work friendly decision. My eyes are burning and itching with lack of sleep, but the sound of your voice has continued to be one of the most comforting things I’ve come to know. There is nothing left there. There are no...
First full day of work
I am apparently back to a consistent lack of sleep. I think I dozed off around 2, was up at 5 for an hour, and up at 8 for good. Not excited. And why couldn’t the sun be out every day of the week before I got a job? 11-7 today. By the time I get off the sun will be long gone. Womp womp.
You undress me with your mouth, lips parting to spread the skin from my bones, my organs underdeveloped beneath your syllables. I dislike you for your ability to talk your way out of anything, into anything; the way you vocalise everything as if there is no other way to share. No glass bowls or trays overflowing with snacks, but the gape of your mouth, stuffed, and the guests plucking trinkets...
4 tags
Day four of the job is complete. I think I like it. It’s money for sure. Money that I spoiled myself a bit with today. And by that I mean now I have pants that actually fit me, and a winter coat with all its buttons. Merry Christmas, self, now you don’t look like a hobo. Also I was totally able to pick up some sweet gifts for some people. I feel good. It’s raining out. The...
How to fuck up emailing someone important 101
Me: Now I really feel like an ass. Unfortunately, the past few days have been some of the worst. I got some mad food poisoning. The highlight of everything was probably drinking Apple Cider Vinegar straight. Maybe it was sleeping in the bathroom. Its hard to choose between the two! Anyway, I finally am better and haven't died, which is a plus, but now I have a job and all this ridiculous school stress to worry about and I decided to hand make all of my gifts like a five year old, which is not going as swimmingly as I had hoped. I sincerely apologize for the huge span of time between emails and still very much appreciate your willingness to answer questions that I have.
Him: Great to hear from you, sorry to hear about your bout with food poisoning, I'm glad you're feeling better. Also, handmade gifts are the coolest, good on ya.
Me: Handmade gifts that are never, ever going to be finished because working for a corporation is like having a headcrab attached to your soul that sucks all the life out of you for ten hours straight until you don't even like pizza and you want to trip small children for fun. By that I mean thanks. (: Hah.
So fucking tired. Up in seven hours to do it again.
First day of the new job and it is probably going to suck. It’s an eight hour shift, which is fine, but I woke up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep.
My eyes itch and burn with tired. Womp womp.
Roa →
He’s becoming a new favorite of mine, fast.
I’m not dead =D
Hooray!
10am
I have not slept in 24 hours, and I have thrown up six times in the past seven hours, the last time being about an hour ago. My uncle is the best ever so he drove me home from the suburbs. Still want to die.
6: 30am
Kill me please
I want to die I want to die I want to die.
Throwing up at 3am, in someone else’s house, while 100% sober has just made its way onto my list of “Things I fucking hate more than anything fucking ever”.
I’m in so much pain. All I want to do is have the pain go away long enough for me to fall asleep. I would also like to avoid waking up my uncle and cousin to the sound of my...
“it takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm”
calm
The days are very rare when I am happy to be this young. Twenty. Twenty fucking years old. I’m just a little kid, really. There is so much left of me. So much opportunity. So many people. So much love and happiness. So many moments to make fond memories out of. I am only one quarter into college. I live in a huge city that on good days, is very beautiful. I have a cute cat, a few people I am...
troof
Stay up watching How I Met Your Mother > Sleep
Watching Girl, Interrupted for the first time. It’s insane how such large parts of a person’s life can become so insignificant. What a nice reminder of the fact that I was in a mental hospital for a few weeks. So fucking weird to think back on.
WatchI lied. Enjoy, bitchezz
Wiley and I are legit playing fetch right now. I have no proof of this and it sounds ridic but it’s true. Had to share. My cat’s fucking awesome.
I have spent so many hours of my time trying to teach myself how to knit and crochet so that I can make everyone warm, fuzzy scarves full of love for the holidays.
In conclusion: Everyone is getting ugly, half finished shit. Hope ya’ll are cool with that.
Some day I am going to stop having fucked up dreams that have me waking up screaming. I hope, I hope.
hopemanifesto said: Whaaaaaa!
I don’t know when you looked, but at Midnight he did a free show for this 24 hour charity event at Second City. He stopped playing around 1:30.
hay
http://letterstosantachicago.com/stream.php
Look, Alex.
Live Mountain Goats Streaming
=D
loucaltabiano asked: This boy lives in South Philadelphia.
8 1/2
Believe me, no need for remorse. Destroying is better than creating when we’re not creating those few, truly necessary things. But then is there anything so clear and right that it deserves to live in this world? For him the wrong movie is only a financial matter. But for you, at this point, it could have been the end. Better to quit and strew the ground with salt, as the ancients did, to...
Good news: I have a second interview tomorrow at 12:30. Starting pay with guaranteed hours is slightly over sufficient as far as paying bills goes. Bad news: I spoke with my mother. Her unemployment decrease is an $800 loss. Holy fuck.
"there goes christmas"
I knew it was only a matter of time, and I was sadly just having this conversation with someone yesterday. I guess my mother got notice that her food stamps are being taken away and that her unemployment amount is being lowered. She quit her job over a year ago and has hardly looked for anywhere to work. Right now she’s doing about 20 hours a week at a gas station on the side. She lost her...
Up the drunx
Sex
Emotional connection
Relationships
Jealousy
Monogamy
Love
Reality
Desires
Need
Physical contact
Comfort
Social acceptance
Orgasms
Fleeting romance
Hm
Leaving early
I wanted to be here in the morning to walk Kaylee to school, but I can’t do it. I stayed with her until she fell asleep. That’s it though. Jake is on his way to pick me up.
Being in this house…something about it eats at me. My chest is tight. I am distracted and anxious and feel sick to my stomach. I’m counting down the seconds until he gets here.
If I ever last more than...
