February 2010
17 posts
disconnect
Being at my mother’s house is so depressing. Despite her not being here for me while I’m sick, I still came over. For Kaylee. But it’s hard. She’s so fucked up all the time. She talks openly about her addictions in front of Kaylee to the point where Kaylee is shocked to see my mother drinking something other than alcohol. She’s still willing to drive me home right...
I'm SO done with your immature petty drama.
ashleelyn:
grow up. you know I don’t allow that shit in my life.
Right? Fuuuck. Haha, I love you Ashlee. <3
January 2010
24 posts
Thank you
Thank you for being insensitive when you know how I’m so sick, I can’t make it through a day without being ill five times. Thank you for not caring or being attentive or understanding, or making an effort to see how I’m doing. Thank you for making a joke out of something I find very serious, even though I’m only worrying myself sick. Thank you for walking away from me...
5am
I pulled apart the words you said, and watched them separate trailing like strings along my bones eyes closed, waiting for them to fall beside me trying to remember how we used to talk but only seeing consonants and vowels lost between sheets grasping frayed memories with calloused hands, tired; praying for sleep
I was trying to help you out there with a friendly reminder of something some people might find important, but you missed the hint. Oh well.
Breathing
Everything is changing and I’m here, wrapped up in blankets, drinking tea, headphones on so loud I can’t tell there’s a world around me when I close my eyes. How wonderful! How exciting that there are people all over rushing to work, tying their shoes, spilling their coffees and starting their cars. Depending on the minute I either love or hate that there are always more than...
3:00am
Awake, cold and not having to fight sleep.
Good morning.
WatchAlright I really try not to get into big yuppie loving messes like this, but I have always dug Conan and although I have been without a television for awhile now and hate watching, I’ve spent so many late nights with youtube, laughing until I cried.
This is hilarious. NBC is bogus and sucks.
THE THINGS YOU LOVE TO HIDE
I didn’t say all that stuff about deserving better just to hear myself talk, you know.
So long, baybeeee *smooch
;)
edit: I woke up two hours later having been dreaming of you, and got violently ill.
“you’re cold maybe you just missed the sun
you fall, feeling like...”
sunk
mom’s in the hospital.
she’s okay for now, but it makes the inevitable more real.
getting tests tomorrow and hopefully everything is alright.
Last day of high school everrrrr
My stomach is really sick today for some reason. I’ve thrown up and haven’t eaten yet which is lame, but I’m in such a good mood. The school day is so much easier to get through when I know it’s my last one! I thought maybe it’d be the opposite: me irritated and constantly watching the clock. Nope! I’m excited and not really sad or going to miss anyone, still...
I HATE RICH PEOPLE. and technology. sometimes.
Go to London and hang out with this kid or buy a new camera because mine only works when it feels like it and being without a camera MIGHT FUCKING KILL MEEEEEEEEEE This shouldn’t be a hard decision to make. Explore a new country with a rad friend? Spend a ton of money buying the same product when yours shouldn’t even be broken because you’ve only had it for two years? Become...
The shades were pulled down again, curtains too heavy for even the slightest bit of sunlight to break through them. We sat with our shirts up over our heads, laughing about it… Sometimes I’m convinced I can smell her dying from the kitchen.
RMFT-
Hey Ryan, When I said “goodbye forever”, I meant it. And since you’ve continuously told me that I’m not worth your time, there is no reason for you to leave childish comments on my flickr. It’s obnoxious and something I should not have to deal with. You phone number is being blocked, I have deleted you from all websites, messengers, and any other area of communication...
