February 2012
10 posts
2 tags
I quit the job today. I have enough money to last one more month without any income.
Holyfuckingshitthisisserious.
Doin’ good things for myself that are terrifying, y0.
“Oh, I really like you so much and wow my feelings were so genuine. SO GENUINE THAT I AM GOING TO STOP HAVING THEM FOR YOU”
-Every emotionally retarded boy that I’ve ever met. AKA every fucking boy that’s ever come into my life
lol
3 tags
Every day this week I have woken up at either 4 or 6am, and have either started my morning with a seven hour shift at work, or a row of classes at school. I just woke up from a nap and feel so weak and sick and tired and am kicking myself really hard for allowing myself to fall asleep. My body needs it so badly, but I literally have enough homework to last me…realistically…at least ten...
I wanna kiss you where your head opens up, i
i, i
I wanna kiss you where your legs spread apart, i
i, i
i wanna kiss you until you feel alive, i
i, i
oh my, my, my, my, your mind, your mind, your mind
6 tags
unf.
I feel like I’ve reached a really horrible point in time if I can’t decide whether I’d rather eat dinner, have sex, or pass the fuck out.
I think verbalizing this is possibly making it even sadder.
January 2012
38 posts
A promise to myself
HEY GUYS!
I decided today WITH NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS that I am quitting my job on Monday.
THAT’S RIGHT. I WOULD RATHER BE HOMELESS THAN WORK FOR YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT.
Already sold the flat screen for some extra cushion money and if I don’t have money after that…too fucking bad. No way it is worth being belittled and fucking shit on for $10 an hour. Rent is paid for this...
I love my sister more than anyone
Kaylee: Do you like your school??
Me: I do. The academics are impressive and my professors offer great perspective and demand critical thinking.
Kaylee: Cool!
(five minutes later)
Kaylee: Will you marry me!?!
Me: Yes!!!
Kaylee: Yeah!
Kaylee: I'm playing bingo by myself.
Me: Aw...Kaylee..
So much whiskey. So early. So many hours of work. Last night was nice. Leaving this morning was not.
5 tags
lo que no ves
Going to meet Ian and friends at a bar when you have to be up for work at 4AM is a BAD IDEA JESSICA. If you leave, you are going to be making a BAD DECISION.
….
..
.
I think I’m gonna go probably
I just want to skip class and order pizza and drink whiskey and makeout with someone and then pass out.
Why am I so responsible? Ughhhh.
3 tags
3am and i am
losing sleep to you laughing
again. happily
eyes itching and bones aching
doesn’t bother me at all it only took ten minutes
of talking to you
for the horrible parts of my day to disappear
then! to hear you say you love me
well, i just can’t even…
5 tags
swoon,swoon,swoon,swoon,and sweet dreams
Me: You're always cute but there's something that gets extra cute when you're sleepy. Your smile changes a little...I don't know how to describe it, but that shit gives me the warm fuzzies like you wouldn't believe.
Him: Come cuddle with me rite now
Me: Okay bbydoll. Be there in 5.
Him: Damn that'd be amazing
Me: I know. I want that so badly. To be able to fall asleep next to you, and wake up ready to give you tiny kisses and good morning goofy ass smiles.
Him: Ugh...It's too much!
Me: It's almost hard for me to imagine because I don't know if I've ever felt how I would feel if I could be close to you like that. Which maybe sounds weird, or maybe silly...but I really think I would be so happy in that moment. It would be so perfect it's hard to even think about.
Him: I know. Like a different world or something. I want to come up there soon.
sleep (or lack thereof)
I am done trying to figure out why some nights are better than others. For the past ten years now I have gone through the entire scale, from self-mutilating in my sleep, to waking up a little shaky. The first time I ever experienced a significant amount of time without nightmares was when I lived with Michael. Sure, I had the occasional one or two, but for the most part I was getting deep, sound...
2 tags
#foreveralone
Me: I'd have to spend the night if I came over.
Him: I'd insist.
Me: Have you eaten?
Him: Nope.
Me: Ohfuckk, pizza involved in these hangouts?
Him: Word. I gotta be up early tomorrow though. 6:30am
Me: Oh damn. So you won't want to be up all night?
Him: You have plans to keep me up all night?
Me: No. Actually I'm really fucking tired so going to bed at a reasonable hour works in my favor. Hahah. How sexy is that?! UNF.
rattlingbone said: who dis? http://writingonourwalls.tumblr.com/post/12678695880/daniel-bryant-its-been-six-years-and-i-swear-i This is who that is. I’ve pretty much been in love with him since day one. We talk about it openly in that kind of half joking, half serious way. Life keeps both of us really busy and he lives in NC, so the days when we get to talk and cam it up are dear to me and...
Sign This Petition! →
Lame
Woke up early to start working on homework. Had a supervisor meeting at work from 2-3. Got on the 3:45 train leaving downtown, which was supposed to get in at 5pm. I figured I would have a ton of time to get homework done because the train is a wonderful homework spot. Then the train broke down. Then I spent twenty minutes standing outside in the cold halfway to the suburbs. Finally, a second...
“The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence...”
– Bell Hooks (via wearethedescendantsofstars)
3 tags
I think I’m going to start making a list of horrible things I would rather do than work at my job.
Also, I’m drinking Jameson while I stay up all night to write an essay
fuck this job
Yesterday I had a talk with my manager about how all four supervisors, if she has to choose hours sparingly, should at the very least have 30 hours a week. For two weeks straight now, two of the supervisors have had 35 hours, while myself and one other have had 25 or less. Not cool. She gave some pretty lame excuses as to why this is happening, and avoided trying to explain to me why the...
rattlingbone:
Home. Hanging out in my underwear, frantically meowing cat purring and running a muck. Ordered a pizza. May sneak back in through an unlocked door later on to get some lovin’.
Carbondale, I missed you so much.
1) I am currently hanging out in my underwear eating pizza that I ordered for myself. Are we the same person? 2) Seeing you was easily the best part of my day, I’m...
4 tags
Three, two, one
Part of this is okay because I’m aware of everything that’s wrong about it, right?
4 tags
Fuuhhhhh
I have successfully not gotten anything crossed off of my to-do list today. There are about 40 things on there.
#fuckyeahaccomplishments?
Texts with my brother bring the lolz
Chris: Oh right. I know this. Slightly retarded. Give me a break.
Me: (: love jewwww
Chris: Shut up a yo face
Chris: Also I dislike how my phone accepts "yo" as a word but always corrects it into "to". It should realise I use yo way more often anyway, yo.
Me: Realize? You use "yo" more than "to"?
Chris: Realize yes. And duh. Who doesn't? It's such a key word for communication. How else would I end sentences yo?
Me: No clue bro
Chris: I c wut u did that
Me:
Why are we so preoccupied with affection?
Why do people form meaningless relationships with others to seek instant fulfillment or some kind of false feeling of attraction, especially when they love someone else? I want to know the answer to this question.
Or, you know what? Maybe I don’t. Maybe the only answer to that question is so selfish and insensitive that I would rather not have it presented to me. It is a simple thing to...
Police: Bogus cop tries to lure kids in Logan... →
A Cicero man is accused of trying to lure four children into a Ford Crown Victoria while claiming to be a police officer Tuesday night in the Logan Square neighborhood on the Northwest Side, officials said.
I will never understand these things. Every day it gets harder to give people the benefit of the doubt, to find hope, and to be positive about the world around me. Things like this upset...
First paycheck
I am already missing hours. This morning I had to open by myself for the first time and the number they gave me to silence the alarm didn’t work, so at 5:30am I was literally shaking in shock and fear after a blaring, police alerting alarm started deafening me. Easily the loudest, most horrible sound I have ever heard before. Then, the GM and DM were there hanging out and in a seemingly nice...
Three cheers to tomorrow.
18-year-old woman raped and beaten by as many as... →
The 18-year-old woman was found bloodied and naked on a residential sidewalk after being attacked by as many as six men, just a short walk from the Congress Theater in Chicago’s Logan Square neighborhood. Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/18-year-old-woman-raped-beaten-men-denied-entry-concert-article-1.999909#ixzz1iV53Pyfa
I have two comments to make regarding this, which I...
repeat, repeat, repeat
Life is about to get crazy again: Today- Work 4-11:30pm Weds- School 9am-6pm Thrs- Work 5am-12pm, School 6-9pm Fri- Work 12-6pm Sat- Work 5-11:30pm Sun- Work 2-8pm Mon- School 9am-6pm
Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
I just got my extra tuition money from DePaul and more than anything in the world I want to take it and go get another tattoo. Today. Right now. Someone talk me out of this, please. Edit: A tattoo?! What the fuck am I thinking??
A NEW CAMERA LENS. Oh god, I shouldn’t spend the money this way but how fucking sweet would that be? Oh shit. ...
(:
My head is pounding and I feel like I’m hungrier than I’ve been in months. Last night I met a bunch of great people, had lots of laughs, and had a good friend to hug at midnight. I’m really, really glad I went out.
