I had dreams about you all night. I woke up happy for a few seconds and then all I could think about is how it feels like none of it ever happened. I can’t believe you used to make me laugh and smile the way you did. I can’t believe I used to fall asleep laying on top of your chest while you played with my hair. I was happy. I don’t understand how all of it went to the point of no return when it was once that great.
But it’s all so far away now.
Last night I was out with coworkers and today I was with my uncle I hardly ever see. We went to a summer fest than saw some comedy and went to this insane dive bar and my uncles kept buying me beer. We had lobster rolls for dinner and now I’m heading to my boss’ house to hang out.
I feel good.
I turn 23 in six days and this is my fucking year.
It is all about me. Senior year of college, going to the gym six days a week, working hard, eating well, and staying positive. Anyone who interferes with that at all is dropped. Immediately. And I will not be looking back.
By 24 I am going to be the strongest, happiest, and healthiest I have ever been.
I miss the way you smell
I think I want to be alone forever
Where is my manic high to offset this fucking low?